In honour of Father’s Day, we thought we’d share a few insights from three local dads and how they have navigated their parental roles.
David Allen
The Kids
I have two wonderful daughters, aged seven and 11. I thoroughly enjoy being a dad.
Navigating Your Role as a Father
There’s a wonderful quote by Abigail Van Buren: “If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money”. I strive for a balanced approach to parenting, focusing on instilling independence in my kids, rather than paving their path. I aim to equip them with the skills to navigate life’s challenges.
Happiest Moments
When I was single, I never thought that I would one day have so much joy from just sitting and watching my kids play together, and until you’re a parent, that statement won’t make sense.
The Meaning of Fatherhood
When you’re a dad, giving up isn’t an option, you have to be there for your kids. As a police reservist, I’ve seen the negative impact of not having a good father or good role models in kids’ lives.
Biggest Lesson Learned
Patience. I can’t fix all my daughters’ problems. That transcends into life too. One thing I’ve learned being a dad is that I’ve got to let certain things go. Another lesson I’ve learned is that my words won’t be as impactful as my actions, so I have to set a good example for them.
Advice for Fathers-to-be
Parenting is about self-sacrifice. Your kids come first. My advice is to show up even if it’s just on video call, but each day, children need one meaningful eye-to-eye conversation with a parent. I travel a lot, often out of the country, but every day I make an effort to video call my kids to find out how their day was. It makes them feel loved.
Stages of Parenthood
From newborn and toddlers to preschoolers, one thing I learned was to sleep whenever I got the chance. I also started appreciating the little things, like sitting and having dinner with my kids, reading a bedtime story with them or watching their first sports match. Unfortunately, you can’t hang on to each phase. You have to embrace the moments as they pass by quickly.
Words To Live By
I always remember Billy Graham’s words, “A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets of our society”. Therefore, I need to be there for my children and add value to my kids’ lives.
Kyle Friedenstein
The Kids
In 2019, our eldest son, Jack, was born. Just 15 months later, our youngest son, Max, arrived! Our boys are now four and five-years-old.
Navigating Your Role as a Father
There is no one single parenting style which we follow. Our boys are such individuals and seem to respond differently to various parenting techniques. I think consistency is really important and I try to find a balance between setting and maintaining strong boundaries but also approaching my boys with empathy. Knowing I need to lead by example is maybe one of the biggest challenges. I can’t expect my kids to regulate their emotions if I can’t regulate my own when I’m around them. One of the best parts about being a dad is physical play and diffusing tough situations with jokes and teasing.
Some books I’ve read that have been valuable for me in my role as a father: No–Drama Discipline by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina P. Bryson, The Coddling of the American Mind by Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff, The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt, and A Guide To The Good Life by William B. Irvine.
Happiest Moments
Surprisingly, some of my happiest moments are the seemingly mundane. I love picking up my boys from school, they always come bounding up to me beaming. I read to them most nights, which is typically followed by a big Q&A session! I’ve also thoroughly enjoyed adventuring with them and witnessing their growth as they tackle activities we initially thought might be challenging, such as hiking, cave sleeping, and road tripping.
The Meaning of Fatherhood
Your children deserve the happiest and healthiest version of you. This means striving to be your best self whilst leaving enough in the tank to give to them.
Advice for Fathers-to-be
Being a parent is quite challenging. I know I haven’t got everything right, but I really love being a dad, and I believe my boys can sense how much they’re loved and cherished. You will love your children more than anything in this world and you’re also going to make mistakes along the way (that’s normal) but never miss an opportunity to let them know just how happy and grateful you are to have them in your life.
Words To Live By
Pablo Picasso once said: “The meaning of life is to find your gift, the purpose of life is to give it away.” I’d prefer to walk through my life being generous. Generous in time, kindness, knowledge and love.
Stevan Wilken
The Kids
I’ve got two kids—Juandré and Amory. One was born on 1 November, the other on 1 December. I always mix up the two, but luckily, birthdays are saved on my phone. They’re three years apart, and they both keep me on my toes in their own way.
Navigating Your Role as a Father
Let’s just say I wing it—with love and a bit of panic. I’ve had loads of help from my family and friends, and I now find myself quoting my parents—the very ones I used to roll my eyes at. Turns out they were onto something.
Happiest Moments
Seeing them grow into awesome little humans (and surviving the teenage phase). Phones and social media are a full-time battle—we didn’t grow up with that stuff, so now I’m part dad, part digital bouncer.
The Meaning of Fatherhood
It means showing up—even when you’re tired, confused, or hiding in the bathroom for five minutes of peace. Mostly, it’s about leading by example and trying not to mess them up too much.
Biggest Lesson Learned
That you never stop learning. Just when you think you’ve cracked it, they grow up and change the game. It’s like trying to update your parenting software constantly.
Advice for Fathers-to-be
Sleep now. And maybe rethink your decision—just kidding (sort of). It’s the wildest, most meaningful ride, but you’ve got to be ready to give it your all.
Stages of Parenthood
Every stage has humbled me. From napkins to drama, I’ve had to evolve constantly. I ask questions, get advice, and accept that I’ll never fully have it together—and that’s okay.
Words To Live By
No one has it all figured out—even the ones who look like they do. Parenting is messy, loud, and full of coffee. Just show up, love hard, and laugh when you can.