The scene is set—a crackling fire with a hot toddy in hand, a chilly, but clear countryside night, and a few friends keeping the cold at bay with warm conversations and insights. Come and join us as we sit with four local men and hear about their treasured memories, dreams, and lessons.
John Roff
Greatest role model: I grew up a bit later than usual (and parts of me still are, I suppose). As a young adult, Tim Wright was my first mentor, and he taught me to trust my calling. With firm, kind care, he allowed me to be myself, yet encouraged me to become a better version of myself. He saw me, saw my vocation, and called it out. Perhaps he taught me how to be me.
What’s your favourite activity/hobby that makes you feel relaxed? I really enjoy sharpening knives. The focus of being able to do one task well, to restore something to its original function, the pleasure of being able to bless someone with a more functional tool, and the technical problem-solving needed to put the best edge on a particular blade.
What does masculinity mean to you? It’s nuanced and complicated, and I’m still figuring it out, but here are some keys I’ve found to be consistently true: Let God in. Be kind. Use your strength to serve others. Live for a transcendent cause. Pray. Accept help. Look for ways to give. Be ready to admit when you are wrong. Forgive. Keep going.
What makes you feel grounded? Two places—with my wife and four children in conversation around the dinner table, and out in a wilderness area somewhere where I can pray aloud and have uninterrupted conversations with God. Unusual rock formations are ideally part of this.
Nicholas Crooks
What makes you feel grounded? I grew up in Durban, in the sea most of the time, and started surfing from an early age. If there’s anywhere that settles me and makes me centred, it’s going for a surf. I surf about once a week for about three hours. It’s truly the most wondrous thing for me, I come out as if someone has washed my soul and cleansed my body. It’s beautiful.
If you could change anything in your life, what would you change? I think everyone has regrets about stuff, and then you always want to go back and fix them. But when you think about it, if you don’t have regrets, then you wouldn’t have learned the lesson. So it’s a bit of a tricky thing. Sometimes you have to make mistakes because of your specific personality. And hopefully, learn and alter your personality around those decisions you’ve made. So I don’t know, I think regrets and mistakes should be turned into not just lessons, but ways of correcting your behaviour.
What dreams did you have growing up? Every kid wants to drive a bulldozer. I wanted the yellow bulldozer when I was three. I guess your interests are diverse. I wanted to get married when I was interested in getting married. I wanted to raise a lovely family when I had a family. So it’s all ongoing. Now, I’m in my legacy stage at 64-years-old. I think when you want to do something, you have to decide to do it. And then you have to commit to doing that. When you commit to an idea, it’s as if the universe begins to align in your favour. So I think commitment is quite important. Knowing what you want becomes much clearer as you get older. Your world becomes more focused—you’ve already experienced many of the things that come with youth. With that experience, you’re often better prepared to run a successful business.
Matt Hogarty
Boyhood memories: Sport was always a key part of my early years; I swam for the Northern Botswana team. I remember a key moment when a particular race that I had spent extensive time training for turned into a moment of dismal failure. A false start dented my confidence, slow turns and poor pacing the result of losing the mind-battle even before it started, all topped off by the normal ‘boyish’ teasing that came from fellow teammates as I nursed a bruised ego. My coach at the time took no time to look me firmly in the eye and uttered a statement that has helped me define my response to failure during various stages of my life, building resilience and perseverance. “Winners are not those that never fail. Winners use failure to their advantage by growing bigger than their failure. So get back in that pool and grow bigger than your last failure”. A simple reminder that failure is not the end, it’s the catalyst for courageous growth.
What makes you feel grounded? Family is where I find my safe and happy space. I love the seemingly monotonous moment of daily gathering around the dining room table with my family to just ‘be’. It’s in this space where hearts are fed, stories are shared, healthy banter erupts and we quietly remind ourselves of what matters most.
What are some of the greatest challenges you’ve experienced, and how did you overcome them? I spent just short of a year with a condition that took my voice away and rendered me incapable of normal communication. An incurable diagnosis and the thought of being a ‘silent’ contributor in life led me on a spiralling path of anxiety and depression. Recovering from this was nothing short of a miracle as my personal faith in Jesus led me on a journey of redefining my self-worth, discovering an identity that wasn’t built on my external performance, and wrestling through the pain of isolation.
Greatest role model: I grew up in a single-parent household, characterised by extreme financial pressure and the stress of trying to just ‘survive’. With three other siblings, we were a handful, but somehow my mother modelled how to find joy in the difficulty, laughing her way through some formidable challenges. She modelled hard work, tenacity and resilience, at times working three jobs to ensure that our dreams could be realised. I’m still learning how to find joy in challenges, but her life has taught me that love looks like sacrifice, taking bold steps to build the future you dream of, and never giving up on those that matter.
Andre Kauerauf
Boyhood memories: A rather sad memory, but when I was around 16, a close friend took his own life. Although my family had already moved to KZN by that time, I remember having difficulty reconciling this tragedy. It made me realise that despair and loneliness can manifest in powerful ways. I made a conscious decision not to underestimate the need for strong friendships and to ask for help in challenging times.
Greatest role model: Joel Salatin. He is probably my biggest role model to this day. His books taught me that human beings are not an overpopulated scourge on the earth but rather that we as a species can choose to take up the responsibility of stewarding the land in a way that aligns with God’s will. This is based on a deep abundance mentality which enables us to be co-creators while we are on this earth.
If you could change anything in your life, what would you change? I would probably have chosen to study business and economics rather than Sound Engineering. My advice to young men (regardless of vocation) would be to learn the difference between hard and easy money as quickly as possible.
What’s your favourite activity/hobby that makes you feel relaxed? Building and tinkering in my workshop. My father and grandfather are both tool makers by trade, and therefore, building and innovating are in my blood.
What makes you feel grounded? The farm. If we believe that our responsibility is to be fully connected to the creator, then it opens up endless possibilities in terms of how we interact with our environment. We can look many generations into the future and be at peace with the short role that we play in a farm’s evolution.